Are you wondering how to get passion back in your marriage? Fed up with things being as they are?
Read on to discover ideas to rekindle the passion starting today.
Truth be told, a long-term relationship is not easy. Because most of us are pretty shit at relationships.
In this post, I aim to provide constructive advice on how to get passion back in your marriage – straight from the horse’s mouth.
I’m certainly no saint mind you, and have the same difficulties as everyone else, but one thing I take seriously is my marriage.
How To Get Passion Back In Your Marriage
The first thing to understand is that almost half (49%) of 1000 couples in a study said they had been to counselling with their other half.
This shows how common a lack of passion in a marriage is but on the flip side, how keen couples are to save their marriage. Good news!
So, let’s get straight to it. Read on for advice on how to get the passion back.
Routine daily life is often the cause of a lack of passion in a marriage.
The same things happen day in, and day out, over, and over and over again.
To counteract the boredom, it’s important to challenge yourself with new experiences.
This could be taking a walk with your family on a different route to normal. Or going out for lunch to a new place.
It doesn’t need to be jumping on a flight and seeing a new country, but it could be if you like!
Humans get stuck in routine life and accept that ‘this is how it is’ when in fact, to rekindle the passion, you need to try new things.
Trying new things is a guaranteed way to revitalise yourself, which you’ll then be able to channel back into your marriage. There are so many ways you can do this.
Here’s some suggestions:
- Drive a different route to work or school, and enjoy seeing the new views and sights
- Go to a new restaurant and choose a meal you’d not normally go for
- Write a love letter to your husband and leave it on his desk
- Suggest a day out to the beach and enjoy ice cream together
- Watch a different movie, which is not your style (the new experience will be exciting or at least initiate a good conversation).
Often, we feel we don’t have a choice (despite living in a world where freedom is taken for granted) but we always have a choice.
And trying new experiences is a surefire way to re-introduce passion in your marriage and liven things up a bit.
Believe me, I get it.
After a mega long, stressful day, the last thing you want to do is get down and dirty.
Yet this is a part of marriage which can be amazing for relighting the passion!
And I guarantee that if you can muster the energy, you’ll feel super for doing it (as will your partner)!
Sexual intimacy is crucial for a passionate marriage.
If you’ve not been passionate with your partner for a while and are somewhat apprehensive, go easy on yourself.
But… start the conversation.
Your partner is likely just as apprehensive as you and would be happy to work with you on this.
You could also consider seeing a sex therapist, who will undoubtedly help reinvigorate your sex life!
A sexless marriage is doing no one any good. Sex is a part of being alive!
It’s a beautiful way to light the fire within you, and this is all down to hormones and chemicals released when we have consensual sex.
It’s one of the many ways we feel connected to our partner on a deeper level.
Oxytocin is the number one hormone – it floods your system when you’re intimate with your partner.
Making you closer as a couple.
A happy marriage involves a high level of physical intimacy – the more, the better!
So often, the little things become the big things.
An innocent comment to your partner suddenly becomes a full-blown argument.
Or you keep quiet about finding yet another dirty pair of pants of the bathroom floor for the hundredth time, which suddenly fills you with pure rage, and you explode.
These are little things in the grand scheme of things. But they become big things in the long run.
The good news is, you can work together on this by improving how you communicate.
Communication is one of the fundamental human needs, and it’s super important in every relationship.
You need to talk to one another to prevent emotions from over-spilling.
We harbour our thoughts inside us, keeping quiet a lot of the time and not openly talking about something that hurts or frustrates us.
Often we’re scared to bring up the topic as we don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ as it were.
We often think it’s easier to stay quiet, but this only leads to more issues in the long run.
There are always diplomatic ways to approach things in every relationship.
Whatever you’re struggling with, whether it’s feeling like you’ve lost touch, lack of intimacy, overwhelm, too much work and not enough couple time, mothers-in-law! Whatever it is, talking about it openly will help.
If for whatever reason your partner doesn’t reciprocate the desire to talk, it can be helpful to see a family therapist for a better understanding as to what’s happening.
Quite often we can’t see things for what they really are when we’re in our heads too much.
Any improvements in life start by taking small steps.
What is one thing you could do right now, TODAY, to bring some passion into your marriage?
- Could you make a cup of coffee for your partner unexpectedly?
- Write him a tender letter?
- Make him a sandwich?
- Cook a romantic dinner and light a candle for the ambience?
- Initiate some intimacy? Hold hands? Stroke his back?
Successful long-term couples know that instant results are a myth.
Things take time, always, and relationships are no different. And it also takes one person to initiate the communication.
If you can have date nights (i.e. you have someone who can look after your children for a bit), then take a date night!
Spending time alone with your partner will bring back that much-needed passion to your marriage.
Our favourite experience is to go to a spa for a couple of hours together in the afternoon every so often.
We only do it when we’re in Poland where my husband’s side lives and we’ve got babysitters.
We’re fortunate to have a beautiful, earthy spa just down the road.
We sit in the sauna, the jacuzzi and steam room, intermittently hopping in the cold shower to rinse off.
It’s wonderful to have time for each other, in a simple way, with no distractions.
Time stands still, and we reminisce about our past experiences and dream of new plans for our future together.
But it sure takes planning to do. So plan a nice date night for yourselves.
Believe me on this one! It’s a certain way to bring back the spark.
Stop Putting It Off
The final point in this post is to stop putting it off!
Your marriage is no joke.
It’s something which you want to have work out, else you wouldn’t have got married in the first place. Remind yourself of this.
Stop procrastinating, and start doing.
Re-read the section about small steps, and choose one small step today, right now, to bring back some passion to your marriage.
Pop a comment below on this post and share what you decide to do – it will inspire more people to do the same!