Believe me, I know exactly how it is having your mind elsewhere while little hands tug at your knees for attention.
Being a parent can be downright overwhelming with that never-ending mental to-do list, let’s face it.
It’s too easy to lose sight of the important things, right?
Of being in the NOW with your kids and yourself. The mind is constantly overworked and undernourished.
How To Be A More Present Mom
Our thoughts race ahead too often, leaving the body behind.
And then comes social media distractions, phone pings, emails, cleaning duties, and endless scrolling simply to ‘feel’ something – it’s often like there’s just not enough time to give our kids the attention they crave.
But read that sentence there again.
“The attention THEY crave…”
Doesn’t that make your heart hurt? It sure does mine. I certainly didn’t have kids to let them slip to the bottom of my important pile.
If you’re with me, read through this post where I share how to be a more present mom – and take on board some of the advice offered. It will help you focus on what’s really important.
Start With The End Of The Day
We’re starting at the end. And for good reason! Side note: Does anyone else love reading the last page of a book first? (Just me? Hmmm.)
One of the best ways I’ve learned to be a more present mom is by getting intentional with how I spend my time – specifically, in the evenings.
I know I want more than anything to be a more present parent, which means filling my cup, too. And the evenings are when I spend time alone when they (and my husband, haha) fall asleep in a heap.
Quiet, attentive evenings to yourself (not the housework!) set the day ahead to be far better. Good things come from good prep!
This is the time you can take for yourself.
You can choose to do the housework if you want to, sure, but I recommend instead investing in a cozy blanket, a mug of hot chocolate, and an excellent book to read. Take at least 30 minutes before heading to bed to simply wind down.
But don’t make the mistake that I do often – which is going to bed past midnight simply because you want some alone time!! Sleep is mega important for a better day ahead.
In today’s world of digital overload, we all spend way too much time getting distracted by social media.
Ignore those who say they don’t! Yet, as parents, social media equally horrifies us. We strive daily to be more present with our children, but then the pings and messages hit us, and we automatically respond. The hypocrisy is crucifying, isn’t it?
So, the hard thing to grasp is you must. Just. Stop.
You’ve just got to stop picking up that damn cell phone of yours and using it so much in front of your kids.
Start setting an excellent example for your children instead. This means limiting the time on your phone and being mindful of how much time you spend scrolling through social media or checking emails.
Parents *should turn off all phone notifications so nothing steals their focus. It’s hard to break the addiction of constantly looking at your phone, I know, but believe me, it’s worth it in the deeper relationship you develop with your kids (and freedom from mommy guilt, too…)
I put my phone out of reach when I’m home during the day, and always, without fail, when I’m with my kids, my phone isn’t near me.
I only ever have my phone on me when I’m out and about or at my desk working. Otherwise, it’s not in sight whatsoever, and I stick to that routine religiously… (I’m stubborn like that!)
One tip for you is to dedicate a certain amount of time each day to simply be present with your family. It can be mealtimes, in the evenings during bathtime, or in the mornings while running the school routine.
You get to orchestrate this as the queen of your home, so choose what works best for you.
It doesn’t have to be long – even 15 minutes will do if time is short. During this period, remove all distractions and obligations so everyone completely focuses on each other. Playtime with the kids is a great time to do this in my home.
You can also take advantage of moments everyone is together by default, like car rides, dinner, nap time, or bedtimes. These seemingly mundane moments allow you to show them how important they are to you by giving them your full attention and having meaningful conversations with them while listening attentively and emphatically.
Small changes throughout the day, such as taking deep breaths before responding quickly or pausing briefly after receiving a phone call to restock your thoughts, can help balance work and home life and enable us to focus more on what truly matters: spending quality time with our loved ones! And get familiar with your limits, ladies!
Balancing modern motherhood is a challenge. But with the right strategies, you can find a better balance and be present with your family.
Taking on household chores at a time that works for you, intentionally setting a positive work-life balance, setting up a bedtime routine for yourself and your children, and taking time out for yourself are all key elements in achieving this goal.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting, it’s essential to take a few deep breaths and remind yourself of what needs to be done in that moment.
Establishing regular habits like grocery deliveries or delegating tasks to other members of the family helps lighten the load. The more you focus on each seemingly mundane task, the more amazing moments you’ll have during the day.
Being aware of non-verbal cues in children is essential when it comes to being a present parent. Facial expressions and body language often speak louder than words, so make sure you’re radiating patience even when your energy levels are low – this will help set up positive associations between you and them that will last well into adulthood.
Consistent sleep schedules are great for creating balance at home, too – not only does an early bedtime give everyone enough rest, but it provides parents with much-needed quiet time to spend how they choose
Carving out dedicated personal moments – no matter how small – is crucial if you want to maintain equilibrium; whether it’s yoga or just five minutes here or there throughout the day, these moments remind us that we all need our own lives outside of caring for our little ones!
Navigating parenthood in a world constantly on the go can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m all for a simple life, and I find that I can turn off quite quickly – literally by focusing on my family and ignoring the outside world, haha!
Let me simplify some of the key concepts in this post – and a few more!
- Carve out 15 minutes (if not more!) daily to make a meaningful connection with your children.
- Balance your chores when the times suit you best
- Switch off your phone around your kids (or leave it upstairs)
- Allow large parts of your day for phone-free time
- Stop mindlessly scrolling social media (such a time zapper and consciousness breaker)
- Get a good night’s sleep so you wake up in the right frame of mind.
- If you’re overwhelmed, switch your focus to the one thing you need to do next.
- Make sure you’re making time for yourself too.
- Prioritize quality over multitasking in whatever task you’re doing at that moment.
I understand that a lot of what I say here may not be possible for your individual circumstances, and I get that. But equally, if you change your perspective on things, the things you look at change.
So perhaps just taking on one of the tips in this post might be life-changing for you, your kids, or all of you? It’s worth a try.
If you enjoyed this post, please comment below and share your thoughts. And for more reads on a more mindful life, click here.
Here is a poem for you to end on.