Don’t roll your eyes just yet. In this post, I’ll share my best tips on the matter of being a happier stay at home mom.
Now,truth be told, becoming a stay at home mom is a big deal. It takes the decision to make it happen – likely a conversation about finances and what not to make it a reality.
And then, when it is your reakity (aka you’re knee-deep in it) you start wondering how you’ll cope, day in, day out.
And I don’t mean the tantrums, tears and nappies only.
There’s the guilt over your wavering career, boredom, low self worth, loneliness, lack of stimulation, unmet needs – the whole package.
Plus, the fact that it’s 24/7 with your little ones without-a-break.
So in this post, It’s my aim to share my best tips to stay happy (happier…) as a stay at home mom, based on my experiences.
Yes, I’m a full-time mom and have been for 3 years now since the birth of my first child.
How To Be A Happy Stay At Home Mom
1 – Rediscover You
Of all the things that motherhood can do to a woman, feeling ‘lost’ is one of them.
Just the fact that you love your children so much means you can get lost in caring for their every need, when in fact, one of your other priorities needs to be looking after yourself too.
Tuning into you and remembering who you are.
Keeping something that’s only yours is key here. Giving yourself time for activities that you enjoy outside of being a mom.
Prioritising space to talk to other women and connect.
What did you enjoy before you had children? It’s likely you may still enjoy this now, so give yourself permission to rediscover this.
Another note on this is the acceptance that now you’re a mother – probably, you won’t be able to do all the things you did before you had children.
There’s a level of “ah, this is now my life” when you have children, which I only got about a year after my first baby was born.
Before that, I was still chasing the hedonism of erratic travelling and shopping sprees, wondering why it was so hard to get my baby to follow me and comply…
Now that you’re a mother, you must choose to step into that role and be the best you can be to your kids, which is a massive commitment.
Being a stay at home mom is a true heroine’s role. But it’s much harder if you’re not taking care of your needs too.
It takes patience, dedication, self-compassion and preparation to make it good on all fronts, for you and your children.
If you feel lost in yourself right now, read this post, which will help – it’s over on my sister blog site.
2 – Stay Active & Socialise
I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but for many women, it’s a struggle.
Locking yourself in the house, sitting the kids in front of a screen and then wondering why it’s all so darn hard.
We all get bored. It’s human nature. We’re social creatures and need to connect with others.
This is why I’m a huge fan of keeping active as a stay at home mom. I don’t just mean exercising and going for walks or runs (though this I do recommend also)
I mean… socialising! Getting out and meeting people.
This is a great way to start feeling good about yourself. It’s really lonely to stay home all day with the kids, so getting out and about is a must.
3 – Embrace The Chaos
Motherhood = chaos!
In terms of everything. Your moods, your house, your life. This is why embracing it as chaos will help you.
It’s meant to be messy. It’s meant to test your patience!
So, embrace the chaos. Then start appreciating how darn well you’re doing.
Did you put the washing on this morning?
Bath the kids?
Go out for a walk with the dog and pram?
Not shout at your toddler?
Make it a routine that every night before you put your head down to sleep, mentally recap on your wins of the day.
Even if they’re the same wins every day, who cares? They’re wins!
What you’re doing here is shifting the negative voice in your head to a more positive one, and over time, those new neural connections will be become stronger and stronger.
Eventually, you’ll start blocking out the negative voice and mainly listening to the positive.
The brain is plastic, meaning it can change and adapt to new stimuli even as we get older. What you feed it most is what’s loudest, that’s the thing.
So, if you can do this every night, celebrate your wins, eventually it becomes a habit, and you’ll be on your way to making a huge positive change in your life.
A change that will make you a happier, healthier, more content mama.
4 – Spice Things Up
Variety is the spice of life, don’t they say? So as a happy stay at home mom, what can you do to make things a bit spicier?
-Take the kids to a different place today, perhaps a new soft play or different town even?
-Do some nice craft activities and commit to an afternoon free of the TV
-Take the kids on an adventure where you collect trinkets on your travels
-Meet a friend who you’ve not seen in ages
-Join a new toddler group and make some new friends
Essentially, anything you can do that’s different from your routine day will refresh your mind and revitalise how you feel. Go get spicy, mama!
5 – No More Doom Scrolling
I seem to cover this in many of my posts, but it’s good to revisit the point because it’s important.
Numbing your *insert how you feel here* by scrolling social media, emails or Google is never going to make you a happy stay at home mom!
Our digital devices if anything are removing our ability to be present to our kids, and it’s very damaging.
As an illustration, we all know the feeling of waking up and checking our phone straight away, feeling dread as we see we’ve missed something, or that we need to respond immediately to something (we don’t, by the way.)
That’s a horrible way to start the day right? I don’t know about you, but I never feel like I’m being the best mom to my kids when I do that.
We’re so obsessed with our phones that it’s like we can’t look our kids in the eye, and this is a big problem for them, as well as us.
So as a happier stay at home mom, consider taking large portions of your time away from your phone and connecting with your beautiful children.
Doing nice things together instead, like playing…
Set up a treasure hunt for them, or sit and do a puzzle together.
Craft activities, painting, chalks, whatever the kids love, join them and watch their loveliness. Their smiles as they spend precious time with you are a gift to them.
They will not be this small for long, so enjoy them while you can.
- Stay you. Focus on doing things in your spare time (i.e. when kids are napping) that you enjoy, such as hobbies, crafts, reading etc.
- Stay active. Go out and meet others and socialise with your kids.
- Embrace the chaos by celebrating your daily wins! You are doing heroine’s work as a stay at home mama!
- Spice things up. Mix up your days, take different routes, change your routine every so often.
- Don’t doom scroll! Spend more time connecting with your kids and less looking at screens.
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