You’ve Got This, Mama
Table of Contents
Welcome. The journey you’re on as a mom is one of the most profound experiences life has to offer – a beautiful and complex path filled with incredible joy, fierce love, unexpected challenges, and, at times, completely overwhelming feelings that you just don’t know what to do with.
This guide to the emotional load of motherhood is the start of many blogs I’ll write, sharing how we as moms can support ourselves and others through the emotional load.
Hi, I’m Sophie. I’m a retired healthcare practitioner and wellbeing coach, and author of the book ‘How To Soften Into Motherhood In A Hardened World‘ which offers insights and practical tools to help mothers navigate motherhood’s emotional experiences.
This blog post offers a tiny section of the book itself. As you read this post, please remember to be gentle with yourself. You are learning, you are growing, and you are exactly the mother your child needs.
You’ve got this mama! You really do.
1. Understanding Your Inner Critic: What Are Limiting Beliefs?
One of the first challenges many moms face is a loud, constant inner critic. This voice is fueled by what are known as “limiting beliefs” which are the negative stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we’re capable of.
Limiting beliefs are thoughts we hold about ourselves that hold us back and simply aren’t true unless we believe them.
These beliefs are powerful, believe me.
They can stop you from progressing in life, in work, and in relationships. Ultimately, they can prevent you from feeling happy and confident. These beliefs often sound like, “I’m just not good enough.” This single thought, no matter how untrue, can taint your entire experience of motherhood.
The Power of Awareness
The single most important strategy for overcoming these beliefs is simple but transformative: awareness. Being aware of a limiting belief is the “number one way to crush it.” You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. By bringing these hidden thoughts into the light, you take away their power.
Your First Step: A Practical Exercise
To begin this process, take a few moments with a journal and reflect on the following questions. This is your first step toward silencing that inner critic and reclaiming your own story.
Questions to Ask Yourself
- What am I struggling about myself? What are my limiting beliefs?
- How would I feel if I could delete my limiting beliefs?
- Am I prepared to uncreate and delete my limiting beliefs forever?
- What needs to be different in my life for me to feel better?
Now you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, it’s time to challenge them. This isn’t a one-time task, but an ongoing practice of self-compassion.
Every time you slip into an old limiting belief, catch yourself! Ask: Is what I’m thinking really true? Is it REAL? Is it something I have to believe in still, or can I believe something else?
By identifying these beliefs, you begin to see that feeling stuck is often the result of a specific mindset—one that you have the power to change.
2. From Powerless to Empowered: Escaping the Victim Mindset
It’s too easy in motherhood to feel like life is no longer your own. When you’re overwhelmed and exhausted, it can seem like “life is happening to you,” or that you’re “at the mercy of everyone else’s needs.” This is known as the victim mindset.
The reason it’s so easy to stay in this mindset is that it can feel strangely comfortable. Victimhood “doesn’t require change” and allows you to blame outside circumstances for your feelings of frustration or unhappiness. But here’s the hard truth: staying in victimhood keeps you stuck. It keeps you powerless. And it makes you resentful.
Choosing Empowerment
The antidote to the victim mindset is choosing empowerment. This isn’t about blaming yourself; it’s about taking responsibility for your own happiness and recognizing your ability to make choices, even small ones. It’s about shifting your internal narrative from one of powerlessness to one of agency. This entire mental shift can be captured by changing the question you ask yourself.
The moment you shift from “Why me?” to “What can I do about this?” you reclaim your power.
Your Action Plan: An Empowerment Exercise
Use this simple, three-step exercise to begin moving from a place of powerlessness to a place of empowerment this week.
- Identify: Write down one area of your life where you feel powerless. Be brutally honest with yourself.
- Flip the Narrative: How can you take back control? What boundaries can you set? Who can you ask for help? Brainstorm your options.
- Commit: Commit to one small action this week that moves you from victimhood to empowerment.
Changing your internal narrative is a direct function of your overall mindset, which is the most powerful tool you have on your motherhood journey.
3. Your Most Powerful Tool: Cultivating a Growth Mindset
Your mindset is the “lens through which you see the world.” While you can’t control the chaos of motherhood, such as the sleepless nights, the toddler tantrums, the endless to-do list—you can control your mindset. This is your most powerful tool. There are two primary mindsets you can adopt: Fixed and Growth.
| Fixed Mindset (stuck) | Growth Mindset (flexible and adaptive) |
| Believes everything is static: “I’m a bad mom. I can’t do this. I’m failing.” | Believes in learning, adapting, and evolving. Sees challenges as opportunities. |
| Sees challenges as proof of inadequacy and seeks perfection. | Forgives mistakes and focuses on progress, not perfection. |
| Keeps you stuck in negative feelings and self-blame. | Moves you forward by encouraging learning and resilience. |
A fixed mindset keeps you trapped, while a growth mindset moves you forward, allowing you to learn and evolve through the challenges of motherhood.
The Power of Reframing
A core technique for shifting your mindset is reframing. This isn’t about “forced positivity” or pretending that hard things aren’t hard. It’s about consciously choosing a perspective that serves you instead of hurts you. It’s about finding a kinder, more empowering truth.
- From: “I’m failing” to “I’m learning.”
- From: “I can’t do this” to “This is hard, and I WILL grow through it.”
- From: “I’m not enough” to “I am enough, exactly as I am, imperfections and all.”
Put It Into Practice: A Mindset Exercise
Use this three-step process to practice reframing your thoughts in real-time.
- Catch the Thought: When you feel overwhelmed, pause and notice your thoughts. What are you telling yourself?
- Challenge It: Is this thought true? Is it helpful? Would you say it to a friend?
- Reframe It: Choose a kinder, more empowering thought. Write it down. Say it out loud. Let it become your new truth.
Your mindset shapes your reality. You have the power to choose one that makes your journey softer, kinder, and more joyful.
A Final Note of Encouragement
Remember that motherhood isn’t about getting it right all the time. Far from it! It’s about showing up, loving fiercely, and, most importantly, giving yourself grace along the way.
Much love and grace to you, dear friend! I’m right here in the trenches with you! Love Sophie x
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