Parenting Across Cultures

Coming from different cultures often means there are innate differences in parenting styles. It’s a fact. It goes with the territory (literally)

Our background is what makes us who we are. A strong connection to our roots gives many of us our identity.A feeling of belonging to something bigger than ourselves. It often lies in culture.

But what is the best way to raise children when cultural differences are involved? What about social norms, types, or perceptions of beliefs?

How do you raise a child in the best way if their parents are from different cultures? I’m right in the middle of experiencing this, so I’m an expert in some forms.

Although actually, no, I’m no expert. No day is ever the same under our roof, and the older our boys get, the more eye glances I get from my husband with a “What should I say here?” vibe.

Parenting Styles

Long story short. I’m British. My husband is Polish. We both want to raise our children as best we can. But there are cultural variations in how we do things, as you’d expect.

We have different backgrounds, and family life is different in some ways. But that doesn’t make it bad—far from it!

We both enjoy the fact that we’re from different countries, embracing the family systems we come from, and learning so much from each other. I’m sure our joint love of travel and experiencing the world contribute to this.

Being open to cultures and interested in how others do things. We’re not ones to stay ‘boxed in,’ as it were.

We both want to include the best of what both our cultures offer. We also want to bring in different ideas. New things.

Cultural contexts can certainly bring much variation and excitement to a family dynamic. And it truly is a blessing to parent from different cultures.

There’s a deeper level of awareness of how things happen, in my opinion. You think much more about what you want rather than just agreeing with the same old.

A wicker basket with wooden toy car and blocks nearby.

Family Studies

What works well in that culture compared to my own? I’ve been analyzing this for the last 12 years since dating a Polish man (to whom I’m now married.)

I’ve done a lot of analysing of my husband’s family policy. What I mean is, “How his side does things vs. how my side does things.” And I’m overwhelmed in a good way by some of the things I see. One is the connectedness of his side of the family.

I am amazed at how close he is to his brother, mom, dad, and sister. I see how open his family is in how they express themselves. There’s an eagerness and tenderness to show love for each other. Love exudes from their bodies and in their words and actions.

I’m keen to shower my boys with this openness and warmth. I said this from day one: I don’t believe there’s too much love! In my world, there’s not enough.

The great thing about raising children across different cultural groups is appreciating the differences, embracing them, and learning from them. Bringing in fresh ways of doing things that work better for your family.

Many people are so stuck in their ways due to cultural conditioning, but when you have access to another viewpoint or another culture, you can pick and choose the good bits (and avoid the bad in many ways).

It’s not just our generation but also what global grandparents can do for children: teaching them about different ways of life, different values, different belief systems, and different behaviors.

When you think about it, it’s huge! It’s life-transforming. There are always two ways to do things (in our case), and we’re under no pressure to do them one way or the other.

The blending of cultural worlds into our own little unit is something I’m captivated by, which is why we spend a lot of time switching between our two countries throughout the year.

We spend a few months in Poland several times a year, but our base is in the UK. We have two homes in that sense—two of everything.

Cereal and pencils on a neutral, minimalist table setting.

Parental Agreements

Another great thing about coming from a different cultural background is that you’re more intentional about your parenting. Nothing is automatic!

We had many conversations over dinner before we had children about what we wanted family life to be like. Now that our kids are here, we still have many conversations. Parent-child relationships are mega important to us.

We must have these talks because nothing is “just as it is”. Cultural norms don’t exist when you’re parenting across cultures. In a way, you create your own culture as a blend, which is beautiful and unique to you.

Most people have different parental beliefs, but if you’re aligned in wanting the best for your kids, you’ll naturally be more open and upfront about your behavior with them, your emotional availability, and so on.

We both agreed early on that we wanted to ditch authoritarian parenting as an example.

We’re the first to catch each other out if our standards slip. After all, we have strong roots to fall back on, and bringing these into our family dynamic is a big priority for us.

A wooden hanging hook with some toys on top.

Developmental Outcomes

There are several studies on the benefits of raising children bilingually.

Believe me, having two languages in the house takes commitment, but it’s worth it for children’s individual development.

This study reveals that babies thrive cognitively when exposed to two languages.

I am avidly interested in child development, so I read extensively on the topic. I’m also proud to raise bilingual boys.

How do we do it?

We simply speak our native languages to our children, each of us independently. My husband is regiment about speaking Polish at home. We switch from English to Polish frequently, so they’ll grow up using the languages with ease (we hope).

Children absorb information like sponges, and I see how our little boys’ faces light up when we ask them a question in one language and they answer in the other. It’s fun!

It’s not only languages but also exposure to different parts of the world in early childhood that promotes confidence and self-esteem, among many other benefits.

This article explains how parents who travel increase children’s willingness to learn, adapt, try different foods, and appreciate other cultures.

I, for one, am astounded at my 3-year-old’s confidence. We’re in Poland right now as I write this post, and today, a visit to the local park proved how keen he was to socialize, climb, and jump, seemingly without hesitation. I’m certain this is helped by his exposure to dual heritage and the fact that he’s been well-traveled from a young age.

Summary of Parenting Across Cultures

A possibility of greater respect and appreciation for each other’s cultures (and for each other).

There is a possibility of improved communication and intentions as parents when they are from different cultures (for the benefit of the whole family).

The ability to pick and choose which parts of which culture you bring into your family dynamic.

Exposure to two different languages in many instances (bilingual)

The beauty of travel exposes children to the wider world and helps their confidence and self-esteem flourish from a young age.

It’s important to note that none of this will happen unless the parents are willing and committed to making it happen.

Parenting Across Cultures – A Beautiful Family Life

Table of Contents