I’ve been blogging for well over four years now (woot-woot!) And y’know what?
I always felt uncomfortable talking about self-love.
*Cringe admitting this!*
Yet self love is a topic that is super duper important to all of our individual well-being.
Now, this could just be me, but I *thought* (notice – past tense) that self-love was actually another word for narcissism.
Heavy On The Self Love
I had such a weird, uncomfortable, toxic feeling about it and could not for the life of me switch my mind onto self-love being a good thing.
And the worst thing is, I’ve been sabotaging myself for so long! By not allowing myself to feel self-love from within.
It’s only ever been me that’s suffered, that I’ve been treading into the dust by not giving myself time or attention to self-love.
Not even a hug or a wink in the mirror. Nor a sit down on the couch instead of doing the dishes.
And that right there is my irony.
That I’ve been seemingly forever, someone who doesn’t show herself self-love.
Yet I know aaaaalllllll about it from my studies and reading copious self help books.
So, this year, I made myself a real resolution.
Which was, quite simply, to show me some real self-love at long last.
Not the self-love you see on Instagram or read about in Psychologies magazines, oh no. It was self-love as I wanted it.
It was about finally letting me be me without all the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘you can’t do that!’s’
I donned my self love shirt and got to work.
At that moment, on January 1st, I did something I’d never done before.
What did I do, you ask?
Well. I sat down. And watched a movie of my choice.
Now, I say this to emphasise how self love means different things to different people.
For you, self love could be a shopping spree, or a spa day?
It could mean jetting off to Costa Rica or French Polynesia for a spot of sunbathing?
It could even be jumping in the car and driving your merry way around the United Kingdom, stopping for scones and tea on the way?
It may be exactly what it is for me – letting yourself decide something that you want to do without being influenced by other people.
Here are 10 ideas if you aren’t sure how to show yourself self-love, but by all means, edit these, so they fit your desires.
- Pick your favorite products, run a bath and relax with some candles
- Cook a meal for your family BUT make sure you choose it because you fancy it!
- Spend some quiet time journaling, writing down your goals and ambitions for the forthcoming year
- Buy yourself a fancy coffee on your way to work or school drop off
- Get your hair and nails done
- Ask your partner for some time alone for a few hours – let him/her look after the kids (this is NOT selfish)
- Organise a friends meet-up, go somewhere different for the day
- Take the afternoon off and simply chill with a good read
- Treat yourself to something you’ve had your eye on for a while (if funds allow it)
- Make a turmeric latte. This is my new favorite drink and leaves me buzzing better than coffee (in a good way!)
We tend to associate the ‘best love’ there is with ‘romantic love’.
As we grow up and become young adults, it’s what we crave – to be in a romantic relationship with someone who loves us back.
If anything, we’re taught not to show love for ourselves. We’re taught to put others’ needs ahead of our own.
So, to keep this post nice and light (and not go down the rabbit hole of patriarchy)… I invite you to gift yourself one act of self-love every day from now on.
It can be the tiniest thing, such as an inner high five, an ‘I’ve got this’ chant for 5 seconds.
It doesn’t have to be jetting off to the Côte d’Ivoire or wearing a self-love shirt (but if that’s up your street – check out this t-shirt from the Spark Company). You can grab a special discount using the code ‘MAMAS5’ at the checkout.
There are so many different ways to show yourself self-love in truth.
What will you do?
Why not go and do it, right now?
There’s no point in waiting.
And please share in the comments below what you do for yourself. We’d all love to read each others self-love declarations.
Finally, I want to share that it’s not that easy to feel the effects of self-love when you first start.
You need to actually allow yourself to feel something. Permit yourself!
Many of us are so numbed out by social media or technology in general that we’ve lost touch with our inner selves.
And if you enjoyed this read and fancy even more ideas for self-love (and self-care, cos’ they’re closely related), read this article.
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