Have you heard of the term ‘Shadow Work’ before? Or are you familiar with using Shadow Work Journaling Prompts?
Maybe you’re curious to learn more about it, or you have no idea what I’m talking about it – but love anything to do with self development?
If so, let’s dive straight in and learn more about this fascinating topic.
What is The Shadow?
The shadow “Is a psychological term for everything we can’t see in ourselves.” (CEO Scott Jeffery)
In other words, Shadow Work is “Facing those parts of ourselves that we’d rather shove in a box and not see.” (Suzanne Heyn)
We all have bits of ourselves which we ignore, repress or prefer to brush under the carpet.
Those bits are varied, and often hard to see from our own viewpoint.
Usually, we’re not aware that we have this side of ourselves. We just see patterns of behaviour which we don’t like.
Rather than hiding our shadow side with a smile and pretending we’re OK (which is what most of us do) with Shadow Work, we embrace the bits which hold us back.
We acknowledge we have these behaviours, but we choose to do things differently despite them.
We see we have a shadow side, and we get interested and curious in it, ultimately developing compassion and understanding for why these behaviours exist.
Our shadow no longer needs to hold us back from what we want to achieve. We embrace our shadow, get comfortable with it, integrate it in our being, and we move on.
Why Would We Do Shadow Work?
Those interested or who work with Shadow Work believe we all live in a shadow self, until we do the work to bring it into the light.
You may think that facing your shadow, i.e. the bits you don’t want to see or feel about yourself, is something you’d not do in a million years!
Why would we do that to ourselves?!
But this is exactly why Shadow Work is popular.
It allows you to be real, fully authentic, and potentially heal from past hurts (which is how the shadow develops in the first place).
Carl Jung, a famous psychoanalyst and psychiatrist, described the shadow as parts of our personality that we don’t like.
Traits such as people pleasing, manipulation, aggression, anger, jealousy and inauthenticity are all, according to Jung, belonging to our shadow and on the whole, are negative experiences which we’d rather avoid.
But by working on the shadow aspects of our personality, we come into our true selves, no longer hiding elements of who we are or repressing what we want to achieve.
Read on to see more benefits.
Main Benefits of Shadow Work
Psychological maturity – this is one of the main benefits of undertaking Shadow Work. We all have triggers, which means we play up, act out or follow destructive behaviours when life gets challenging.
With Shadow Work, we reveal what causes these triggers and develop ourselves psychologically.
We learn that none of our actions are set in stone, but are simply a pattern from something that happened in the past. We learn to understand what this ‘something’ is and bring it into our awareness, opening our eyes to it.
It’s then up to us to decide whether we want to continue with it, or to let it go.
Shadow Work helps us do this.
Personal responsibility – Through psychological maturity, you start to take responsibility for your actions. This is another huge benefit of Shadow Work because when you truly take ownership of your actions, you start to create your ideal life.
This means you’re no longer acting as the victim, putting blame onto everyone else for the life you’re living. Instead, you face your reality and don’t shrink back and hide.
You take a proactive, level headed approach to life and make the necessary changes to get to where you want to go, knowing full well that it’s up to you to get you there.
Taking responsibility is a natural by-product of Shadow Work.
Additional Benefits
Self Compassion – Another great benefit of Shadow Work is the compassion you build for yourself and others. You start to see and understand yourself as all the bits and pieces that have happened to you, but equally, you don’t let this hold you back.
It’s as if your automatic way of being no longer leads you down a rabbit hole of negativity and bad self talk. You see yourself in a different light, feeling freer and lighter and able to conquer anything!
It also means you’ll be more compassionate with other people and no longer see them as ‘this or that’, but as real people, who also have past hurts and triggers, but who’re equally doing their best with what they’ve got.
You treat people kinder and with more love and gratitude.
A fulfilling life – Life becomes more meaningful when you embrace your shadow side. It’s no surprise that many of our shadow behaviour stems from our childhoods, when we knew no better and simply went into survival mode to protect ourselves.
You start to integrate these behaviours into your present day and bring back a sense of the childlike wonder into life, while keeping a balanced, level headed adult perspective on things.
Negatives of Shadow Work
Shadow work has its downsides, and it’s important to understand this before undertaking any form of Shadow Work on yourself.
It can be an emotional, upsetting experience to uncover bits of yourself hidden for decades.
It may lead to suffering from the emotional upheaval of bringing these shadow parts to the surface.
Perhaps there may be blame or arguments with family or friends due to Shadow Work.
This is why it’s super important to prepare yourself, and ideally, seek a therapist or professional to help you through the process.
Shadow Work is about getting to know the real you.
It has nothing to do with anyone else, and there should be no need for anger or resentment. However, this can happen, so it’s important to be aware of this.
How Does The Shadow Form?
You may wonder ‘Where and why did I get a shadow?’ and it’s a great question.
Most of our shadow develops when we’re children, when our internal drive is to belong and be accepted.
Our evolution drives this – we are safer in a group than we are fending for ourselves. And thus starts the lengthy process of conditioning.
This desire to belong drives us as adults to be loved and protected, and this is even stronger when we’re children.
We learn to adapt and mould ourselves to those around us so we’re accepted and validated for who we are.
This is unconscious behaviour happening over many years, so we don’t see it happening until certain behaviour traits cause us or others hurt.
Therefore, the Shadow is the bits of ourselves that we learned to hide to allow us to be accepted and loved.
But things which get hidden only get hidden. They never go away for ever.
From a personal development perspective, the shadow can limit our growth and stall our progress.
The shadow can contribute to self sabotage and procrastination, taking over dreams and goals you may have set for yourself.
Our Shadow is part of us and this is why Shadow Work aims to bring it out into the open, releasing us from our past conditioning, freeing us to be who we want to be and achieve what we set out to achieve.
Shadow Work Practices
There’s no official governing body who regulates Shadow Work.
Many counsellors and therapists may support you to uncover your shadow if you want to go deeper with it, to work through it and integrate it.
I also advocate aspects of Shadow Work to enhance and build self development.
My advice is to read more on Shadow Work. There are numerous authors & therapists who’ve written on the subject. Two of the favourites I’ve come across are Robert A Johnson and Carl Jung.
You can also try out Shadow Work Prompts. Below are a few suggestions, and there are many more on the internet if you have a browse.
Shadow Work Journaling Prompts
Shadow work can start simply by getting more interested in yourself and asking yourself certain questions.
There’s a saying that the only questions that matter are the ones we ask ourselves. And when you think about it, you probably don’t ask yourself questions that often! Why would we?
This is why journaling and answering questions can be truly transformational. I love journaling so much I wrote an e-book on it! Do check it out.
Journaling can uncover so much, and spending time writing down your answers to these Shadow Work Prompts can expose your shadow and help you integrate it and become compassionate for it, rather than pushing it away.
Try these journaling prompts:
What parts of my personality do I not like, and why?
Is there something that makes me angry that I pretend doesn’t bother me?
What’s one thing I feel no one ever understands about me?
What unkind things do I say daily?
What habits do I have that I just can’t seem to shift?
This is a stunning Shadow Work Journal for you to continue in.
Summary
Ultimately, Shadow Work and Shadow Work Journaling Prompts can be hugely eye opening and a method to push you towards a greater version of yourself.
By uncovering certain traits, you can pick and choose which automatic behaviours are helpful to you and which are hindering you.
When you become a master over your ‘self’, you’re able to achieve anything you set your heart on in life.
It’s not a quick process mind you, and there’s no instant gains with Shadow Work.
But when done in the right way and with the right help, it helps you overcome limiting beliefs and setbacks which hold you against yourself and your ideal life.
Pop a comment if you’ve found this post helpful, and share if you’d like to!
(References: Centre Of Excellence, Shadow Mastery Diploma, accessed 7.12.21, https://www.centreofexcellence.com)
Leave a Reply